There was some extraordinary table tennis being played at
Chi-Slam TTC last night. Unfortunately it wasn’t being played by me.
It was being played by Biljana Golic, a professional Serbian
table tennis player who was training at the club. Biljana, or ‘Biba’, has
previously been dubbed the Anna Kournikova of table tennis. From this statement
I concluded that either female table tennis players aren’t as attractive as
their tennis counterparts, or that at 34 years of age Biba didn’t look as good
as she used to. Or perhaps I was distracted from her looks by her playing,
which was astonishing. Dancing round the ball with mesmerizing speed, Biba was
going hell-for-leather on forehand after forehand, the ball arcing with gravity
defying topspin. Her male practice partner was standing right up against the
table and blocking the ball back with his paddle angled perfectly every time.
The rallies went on and on and on and if the throngs of idiots who don’t
consider table tennis to be a proper sport had seen how exhausted she was
afterwards, then they would have changed their views pretty fast.
It was also being played by an athletic lad with died orange
patterned hair that reminded me of British triple jumper Phillips Idowu. This
chap was dominating table three despite playing with a paddle that was the size
of a small coaster. It was like he had taken his paddle and shrunken it in the
microwave like one of those toys you used to get in cereal boxes. Considering
the speed and spin on the balls that were coming at him from very accomplished
players, it was remarkable that the ball rarely hit his fingers or the edge of
the bat.
It was certainly being played by my opponents, all of whom I
lost to with just one set to show for my efforts. That is not to say I was
disgraced. I was testing a new, legal paddle that produced some shots that Biba
would have been proud of. The paddle was described to me as “one side speed,
one side spin” and I soon fell in love with it. Ardy was selling it for $90,
but claimed it usually vends for $300. Given that most of the inscriptions on
the bat were Chinese characters, I couldn’t certify this claim using the
internet, but why doubt him? I bought it and threw in the corresponding
cleaning equipment and bag to take my total well over $100. Give me some time,
and I think I can do some dangerous things with this bat. I left a very happy
man.
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| Biba Golic - 'The Anna Kournikova of Table Tennis' |
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